I learned yesterday – that I was not depressed – but rather discouraged. I had seen through scripture – that I had been broken – through exasperation – to the point of wanting to quit. To give up hope for a future – not the salvation future – but of a happy go lucky every day’s gow-na turn out right sort of hope.
I have been surrounded lately by discouragers. Some intentionally. Some – un beknownst to them.
- creating difficulties
- depress the spirit
- deprive confidence
- To give courage
- confidence of success
- inspire courage in the Spirit
- Strength of mind
Scripture warns us in to be careful to not discourage, provoke or exasperate – that those in our charge might loose heart. I am lifting my hand to say that for a time – I had lost heart.
Depression comes – when you grab onto that comforter of darkness, sleep, and hiding – and just fall into the pit. When you are not questioning the why of the sullen moody spirit that has washed over.
But there is hope.
I came home from church yesterday and wrote out 4 pages of scriptures to help me understand what was spoken to me by two different pastors.
I narrowed down the problem to discouragement – but needed to find a way to be encouraged – to build my courage and strength of spirit again - Through Him and not through others.
Pulling out my trusty “For Instructions in Righteousness - Click Here to Get on for Your Family -” book by Doorposts.net – I read what a parent might bring the Word to to a child who is stuck in discouragement -
Mark 6:31 Come ye part – rest a while – Christ said to his disciples. They had many coming and going and did not have time to for leisure – even to eat. – I have had 6 sets of company in less than a month with three more sets to come this week. Although the actual visits are wonderful – I am really enjoying being a hostess – the set up, clean up, running of our household and yard – gets a bit crazy in the in between times. :) Adding to that the creation of the new school year for 7th and 4th grade – and a new job to figure out - I need to rest more – take the stroll on the beach – be filled with His Rest.
Romans 15:1 Those that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak – I need to Seek Out those who are Strong!
2 Timothy 2:3-4 Endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ – which was a reminder to me to walk through – knowing it was set out for me – not complaining – enduring as a submissive soldier.
Psalm 37:23-24 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and he delights in his way. Thou he fall – he shall not be utterly cast down – for the Lord upolds him with his right hand. I have been young. And now I am old. Yet – I have not seen the righteous forsaken – nor his seed begging bread. – Pastor Darrel spoke on this verse this week and last – it is a good reminder to me – that the Lord knew what those around me were set to do – and that I need feel low – or guilty – or ‘bad’ because I fell in spirit – that I was not utterly cast down – the Lord held me up himself. Rest in that a minute. :)
2 Cor 12:9 My grace is sufficient for thee for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – I have spoken with a few close friends and my family about my struggles these past few weeks – and then felt bad – that my words did not give grace and mercy to my accusers. And yet. His Grace is sufficient – when I am weak. I have questioned sharing in such detail – my struggles of depression on the world wide web – but am comforted – that I can Glory in my infirmities - and show you how the Power of Christ rests on me.
Ps 147:3 He heals the broken heart – and binds up their wounds. Seriously. What could I add to that. I am at the bottom of page 3 of my written notes – and I am feeling the salve, the fresh bandages, the soothing of the Holy Spirit over my healing heart. Rest a minute in that!
Ps 46:1 God is our refuge and strength a very present help in time of trouble!
Ps 121:1 I will lift my eyes up to the mountains, from where my help comes from!
Ps 35:1 – Plead my cause O Lord with them that strive against me. Fight against them that fight against me. Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul. Let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt v28-And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.
I spoke to Jon – who is struggling with discouragement as well – and who loves to walk along the road and create songs – that the suggestion from “For Instructions in Righteousness” was to
Write your own Psalm. Pour out your emotion and close with a Phrase of Praise as David did.
and I leave you with just one more of the many that encouraged me yesterday -
Ps 61:2 – From the end of the earth will I cry out to thee – When my heart is overwhelmed – Lead me to the Rock – that Is Higher than I . . . That is higher than I.