wonder ponder about this pondering blog.
Of how much to share. The Inner conversations I have. Sure, I want to share when the Lord lays a great verse on me, when the money that was short was provided, when I have a hurt and He heals it.
This past week was the first time that I typed out my ponderings for the world to see in real time. I hit publish and felt the dread. Realizing that although I don’t have the ponderings blog set to be very search engine friendly – people still do read it.
What will they think when they see how a tiny circumstance can break the Mary Poppins exterior of a Titus 2 Prov 31 Ruby Woman?
I don’t ask for pity, or the “its going to be ok” pats when I write. Writing is how I process. I feel embarrassed sharing, ingrained to move on, suck it up, fresh day, new morning, blah blah.
Think with sorrow of the presentation we give new moms.
Who see us in our web presented lives in status updates and mc linky triumphs. Only seeing what we are excited about – what project we actually finished. Do they count the days between posts when there is nothing to share? Do they see the string of photos that are missing? Do they know we nap through the afternoon?
Should I start posting a Daily Chore Ignored photo Mc Linky?
I had a great day.
A pull yourself up by the bootstraps day yesterday.
Cleaned up the sand pit, weeded the flower gardens, cleaned the gutters, washed the deck, watered the flowers, made a great meal, entertained friends. Spent hours paddling the lake.
I wake today sore, exhausted. Pretty sure my wrists will be on strike for several days after twisting weeds and oars. Through the sweat and prayer, I felt the blanket of oppression lift. I feel a New Day this morning – and I’m ready to get back in the race.
I woke embarrassed that I shared my struggles – They seem silly this morning with new comfort in Christ. Feeling free from the burden of secrecy lifts the embarrassment. . This mornings reading is a page by Shaun Grooves. - Sovereignty & Sickness & Strength <<Read Here>>
Shaun encouraged me through Paul’s experience –
to Boast All the More Gladly about my Weaknesses
I will not change my Ponderings blog Into the Pebble’s Dribbles of Self Depravation – but I will try to log more often of what I’m going through. :) Delighting in the sufferings - Here is the verse from 2nd Corinthians -
2 Cor 10:7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10