Awake this morning while the dark still wraps the lake, and the twinkling of the boat house lights dance all the way around. The dawning that it is Christmas Eve fills my mind, pushing the sleep out, starting the prattle of lists, to bake, to call, to visit, to do. I realize that we have had two 6+ hour long beach days this week, and the evidence of how much sand can attach it self to every microscopic part of everything you own weighs on me. My feet cringe as I walk the floor, so time is spent in the sweeping, vacuum, dry mop and wet mop dance. Clean happy feet. Clean happy Floor. Happy mom.
But this morning, it wasn’t the anticipation of the World’s Greatest Clam Chowder that brought my brain to a frenzy, it was the after holiday shopping /pre christmas morning anxiety buzz. Am I the only one? We are at a place where the boys no longer need toys to entertain the long hours in the afternoon away, they are creative outdoors, with crafts, computing and gaming. Long ago are the constant days of shopping for toys. Yet, with visions of Christmas Morning, the search goes on to find objects to put under the tree.
My financial planner budget brain says we went too far, cut too much into our bill monies set aside for the first, spoiled too much, caved to commercialism.
My judgmental spirit says that we have less than any of our known friend’s piles, that if the boys had gathered with cousins and friends tomorrow, they would see and know, and we’d feel a push to make them the same.
My thankful spirit says that we got a very nice christmas gift card from Bi-Mart, used several used sources, and that they really only have 3 new presents each.
And then, while focusing on thanksgiving and worship of a God that owns the cattle on a thousand hills – I felt the question – when will it be ok for me to give you some of these cattle to use? Will every blessing I give be seen as an awful thing to be entrusted with? Will only the suffering of living on the financial edge bring you closer to me? You trust me for your every waking need – will you trust me with abundance? And for the first time, I really believe that we, as a family are ready.
We are ready to be trusted with more. We are ready to be trusted to learn from our financial mistakes, and learn from His financial faithfulness. We have lived now for a couple of years debt use free, and have come to the other side.
Being debt free was easy – we’ve been there several times in our life, being debt use free is a whole other object lesson. :)
So – as you gather with your friends and family today and tomorrow, my prayer for you, will be the one I ask for for myself. To enjoy the day. To know that having a thread of holiday traditions holds families together. To realize what you will pass on to your kids will not be how many boxes are under the tree, but the ebb and flow of the day.
Raise up a child in the way that he shall go and when he is old he will not depart from it. SO true. Clam Chowder, Simple Christmas, Stockings, Small family gatherings, quiet evening, simple Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas – and thanks for listening every once in a while. :)