Freedom to Wrench a Gut Laughing

Do you see that little boy up there? Joy. Laughter. It is in the 30’s temperature wise, with rain that light and freezing. The wind – over on the right hand side of the screen there is blowing the dry particles of sand into our flesh like a sand blaster. The birds are attacking, and pulling the bread from his hands.

And he thinks it is the greatest day ever. Because he is with his dad on the beach. The laughter cuts high above the wind and rain. Fills the entire area. We are the only crazies on the beach.

It is times like this – when I can see growth of healing in me.  It has been about 5 weeks since my doctors appointment – and I can physically and emotionally feel – the growth, healing, change, increase. And yet, the freedom of laughter under attack – is not quite there.

I used to have a friend say that she liked it that I could laugh through anything. Now I smile on the inside more than gut wrenching laughter. I am glad that I am healing – that He is healing me – and I am glad that I am finally awake enough to want more.  Freedom. Freedom from the remaining heaviness that hovers over the day. It is not enough to be able to physically, prayerfully, emotionally rise above the heaviness – I want it gone.  And that’s powerful.