Sunday, May 2, 2010

Learning to Communication with Intent

Am a week along in my journey to quit Facebook.  I have other worse habits that have not been this hard to let go.  I keep asking myself, asking God – What is it that unsettles me when I read the status updates – and what is it about Facebook that feels wrong in my day?

The first answer I have been given, is that it is Wrong for Me.  I hope you are hearing this. I have had time when FB was a life line, and I am in no way saying it is a bad thing, but I, have turned it in to bad for my life.

The next answer I have been given is that I have made it bad. It isn’t friend a or Group b or People from There or Here.  It is I. This is about me. So if you are one of my friends reading my journey – the only finger pointing lies in myself, no matter what has sparked it.

One thing that has happened in these weeks to reduce my time on FB – has been the freeing of the mind. I read the blogs in my reader, with my coffee, on my time.  If I get to them at 10am or 10 pm, they will still be there, in order, list growing longer for each day I put it off. But I know they will be there, and I will enjoy, on my time.  I do not feel the pressure to look up each blog owner and see if an blog post did not make it to my reader, or check in on each friend to see if their is a comment that I did not see. I am finding myself out doors more, cleaning more in the house, sewing, mending, and reading more.

My plan has been this week – to work towards Communicating with Intent. I looked up Communicate, Intent and Lazy in the 1828 Webster’s online Dictionary. I won’t bore you with the results, you can look them up if you are a fellow wordsmith – looking up definitions helps me to digest information.

I am working at emailing the specific person I’d like to contact, instead of throwing a tid bit of info out into the wind, hoping the person sees it.  If that person doesn’t get on FB that day – they may never see the Status Update.

Usually, when I post a Status Update, I am thinking of 2-3 people specifically that I’m speaking to – why not shoot them an email?

I have been back in the craft room.  Stamping simple cards, one dimensional, simple coloring – I enjoy the praying for the person as I choose the colors for the flowers and such.  A friend gave me a notebook that we covered together on a weekend retreat a couple of weeks back – I am turning it into my communication journal of sorts.

I made a list from my address book of people I’d love to sit and have tea with – and I will work through the list with a  simple note of hello. I made it through quite a few entries today – readied my Mother’s Day cards for Darren and I – and have a nice list of people to think about as I make their cards in the coming week.

And for the FB itself –I have come up with a simple answer.  Let the deletion take its course over the next 2 weeks – helping me with a change in my online habits – then,

I will create a page for myself – akin to the White Pages.  Name. Phone Number. Email. Website. A couple of Pictures. I will set up my profile to be visible to Everyone, then, if someone is looking for me, they will have my contact information. I will not use FB as a place of communication – but as the means to be communicated with. Does that make sense?  Its not like I’m hiding or anything, I post some detailed information on here and my school blogs. :)

I’ll keep pondering,  - I’d love to hear how you regulate your FB time, emotions, and energy.


Party of Nine said...

Interesting thoughts! How is it going? I've also pondered lessening my fb time. I was a late fb'er, not joining until about a year or so ago. My sister talked me into it to re-connect with our cousins. I love it for that fact.

Pebblekeeper said...

It has been only 15 days since I deleted the account - and so far it is wonderful! This morning I had no need to check my emails until I walked by the computer at 10:30. Answering two personal emails and this comment, a friend had me tagged in a chat on google chat, and I talked to her a bit on line. I was with some friends this weekend, and they were sad that we can not communicate each day on FB. But I'd rather have coffee once a week and catch up, than spending 2 hours on line each morning going through all of the status updates. My family does not post much, we have a very small family - so phone calls are the easiest day to day communication.
I feel free. The addiction is gone. And I don't have a computer in the living room any more. I rearranged the whole room actually because of it. I spent this morning in front of the fire reading with my dog at my feet. Can't do that with laptop cords. :)
Its going well. I've checked in a couple of times on hubbies account to check pictures a friend posted.
Healing is good. :) I feel free.