Thursday, April 29, 2010

Remember So, Forgetting Seem


in time of daffodils(who know
the goal of living is to grow)
forgetting why,remember how
in time of lilacs who proclaim
the aim of waking is to dream,
remember so(forgetting seem)
in time of roses(who amaze
our now and here with paradise)
forgetting if,remember yes
in time of all sweet things beyond
whatever mind may comprehend,
remember seek(forgetting find)
and in a mystery to be
(when time from time shall set us free)
forgetting me,remember me  e.e. cummings

I am putting myself under a 14 day trial of deleting the ever crazy FB account.  I have 14 days to change my mind and log in – and all will be restored.  After that, creating a new account – which shouldn’t be too hard as they will send me 300 friend requests without my permission . . . . . It makes me ponder why the 14 days.  Do they know that people can stand strong for a day or two, but two weeks without checking in on their friends is too long?

One problem of late – several times this past two weeks – is that I need to remember so and forget seem. I get caught up – living here alone – sitting to watch over the lake – family nestled in their beds, enjoying the solitary – that the posts on FB are not SO. They mostly are not GROW. and they are not FREE. People seem to post just enough to intrigue and get the Like button pushed. Stroke them a bit more. A bit more. A little behind the ears.  And like a well petted pup, as soon as you pull your hand away, they find a way to quietly place their ear under your hand while you are distracted – for a bit more of a patting. You don’t really know what the pup is thinking, or why it needs connection – just that it won’t go away.

I have had several “friends” on facebook post small bits of completly traumatic situations – begging and urging our prayers. Had we lived in the same town I would have driven over,helped to clean a dish, put a chicken in their oven. But here, by myself, with only the company of Mr. Stellar Blue jay in my view, and a few loony gulls, I have no way of real connection. I ask for messages as to the what and they why, so that we can walk together, hold each other in encouragement. But nary a phone call or a msg or a txt. Just more begging to be petted, than a quick blurb of how today is better than yesterday.

I want to make a turn. To focus on what is real in my life, and sort out what is virtual. I want to quit running to people to scratch their ears, only to be barked at or scratched when I stop.

It looks like we will be in our current location for another year.  These six months have been a wonderful vacation from our former life, and from any activity – but I am feeling the stirring of the Spirit – to find people to minister to locally, who can also minister to our family.  I am feeling the emptiness of being on many one-sided relationships, where I call, where I go, where I entertain, where I feed, I tweet, I like, I comment – Am I the pup with the scratchy ears?

I want to Grow, to Learn, To remember So, To forget Why, to Be Amazed, To be a seeker, and still, Remember Me. Remember Me. :)

I think I need to head out to take pictures of the morning flowers now. :)


Anonymous said...

I was thinking about you today and realized you were not on FB anymore...I have thinking of doing the same thing...tired of the soap opera of facebook. Anyway if you ever want to have a real conversation without the annoying our # is 218-224-2621...

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about you today and realized your not on the infamous FB anymore. I miss hearing about you and family. Hope things are going well...feel free to call me 218-224-2621 anytime..we are 2 hrs ahead.

Pebblekeeper said...

I'll do that tomorrow and get all caught up. :)